This journey has definitely not been easy! And it's only been three weeks since the surgery. In that time, I am trying to adapt to the limitations of my stomach- and it seems as though it's all very much still about eating. Let's face it- we can't get away from food and the perils thereof, no matter how much we wish we could. There are days when I think if only I could just not eat at all, I think I could do that, just for the sake of not having all the new 'learning' issues. But then I start to feel shaky and nauseous and I know that is due to blood sugar levels; therefore, to dining I must go! In the weight loss department, I will be honest and say that my weight has pretty much remained steady. That might sound good, but I'm supposed to be losing weight, and I'm not. I will be at the same weight for a week, lose a pound or two, then go back to the same weight again. So while that's not inherently bad, because I haven't gained weight, it's also not a sign of real progress. I've also learned that food no longer gives me pleasure. Now I really do eat because I HAVE to, not just because I have a craving. In fact, more often than not, I can't even enjoy food anymore. Most of the time it causes me discomfort if I don't chew properly. I also am not supposed to drink anything with my meals. That just takes the whole fun out of eating! I well remember how nice a big tall glass of limeade full of ice went with my meals, or a big tall glass of iced tea. Well, that is a thing of the past. The other night I had a small craving for some root beer from Sonic. As my Sweetie drove up to the window to order a small root beer for us to share as opposed to the Route 44 I used to drink, I remarked how this was the land of no more for me. I can never look at fast food establishments and think of the things I can order. No more. The land of no more. I just want to arrive at the land of people who can cross their legs. I'll be happy with that. Fast food is so not worth it any more.
In the second front- exercise- I am happy to say I am being more successful with that. In fact what motivated me to write this update is the fact that I just walked 15 blocks! That may not sound like much for those who walk or jog miles, but to me, it's monumental! Prior to the surgery, I could only walk 3 or 4 blocks, and I'd be huffing and puffing all out of breath. Now, I come back drenched in perspiration, but with a steady, even breathing pattern. I attribute this newly found ability not only to a lighter weight on my shoulders, but to the use of a handy little gadget- my teensy tiny Ipod Shuffle. It's weightless, does not interfere with my movements, and the rhythm of the music helps my gait and steps to be better coordinated. I highly recommend it if you're about to try walking. Today, I had to charge it, so I used my IPhone's IPod, but I didn't like it as much as the shuffle. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling great! It is true about exercise making you feel good. I think that feeling comes when you don't overdo it though. Your body tells you just how much it can endure, and you should never try to go beyond that, at least not when you're starting out.
I am also finding that attending support meetings give me a great sense of inspiration. They are a tremendous resource of information and guidance for staying focused and for being successful. They really do jump start your energy when you start to feel less than successful. So I intend to keep up with that. My family also helps, or course, because they know me better than anyone on this earth, and their encouragement is priceless. But my greatest source of strength is God. He guides me, he helps me, he touches the hearts of the people around me. To him be all praise and honor and glory!
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~Philippians 4:8~